Thursday, July 19, 2007

Old-Fashioned Freeze in a High-Tech World

So I'm craving Foster's ice cream earlier today. I'm driving around doing errands and keeping appointments, and I decide to go through the drive-thru at the Foster's Old-Fashioned Freeze near my home. Okay, technically it's my local El Pollo Loco. It's just that it has recently become one of those weird hybrid fast food places that combine two completely unrelated fast food chains together in a mass plot to kill the customer faster with twice as much unhealthy food. And the combinations never make sense to me. I mean a chicken joint that sells ice cream sundaes? Carl's Jr. and Green Burrito? What is happening? And what's next on the horizon? Arby's and Panda Express? Subway and Spudnuts? Starbucks and Albertson's grocery store? Wait a minute...

Anyway, I pull up to the menu board and prepare myself. You never know how this type of exchange is going to go in the first place. The speaker might be all crackly, the person on the other end might not hear me correctly and screw up my order -- although how hard can it be? I'm just ordering a small dipped cone. And on top of it, I remember as I'm pulling up to the sign to order that this location has been known to not have the capability of dipping my cone in chocolate from time to time, for whatever reason. I've never really asked why they can dip the cones some days and can't on others.

"Can I help you," is what I think came out of the speaker.

"Yes. do you have chocolate dipped cones?"

"I'm sorry?" the speaker squawks.

"Do you have chocolate dipped cones," I try again.

"You want a cone? A small one?"

"Well, yes...do you have chocolate dipped cones?"

"You want another one? Two?"

I'm beginning to debate whether the ice cream is really worth it.

"No," I answer, "just one small one."

"Okay drive to the window," comes my response.

Against my better judgement, I drive to the window and stop. The lady pops her head out of the window and says, "The ice cream is too soft for the cones right now. Would you like it in a cup instead?"

Isn't the ice cream at Foster's supposed to be soft? Wouldn't Foster's ice cream that is too soft for cones be Vanilla Soup? Well, at this point what are my options, really? There's a line of cars behind me, and I have ordered the ice cream. It's practically worth finishing what I started just to see what's handed to me.

"Sure," I say. "Put it in a cup."

She leaves to carry out this task, and, to her credit, I notice that she is putting the chocolate shell that she would have normally dipped the cone into over the top of the ice cream. But as I watch her doing this, another employee that has been standing by the window during this whole exchange leans toward me with a small plastic bag. As I take it from her, I see that it contains -- I kid you not -- a few napkins a spoon and an empty sugar cone!

I drove away eating my ice cream with a spoon while the cone that it was supposed to be in sat next to me, empty, on the passenger seat.

Okay...whatever. You guys do what it is you need to do. At least I got my ice cream.

--Shawn

Shawn McMaster
Conjured-Up Creations
P.O. Box 973
Newbury Park, CA 91319
(805) 480-0703
www.conjuredupcreations.com